Be careful what you wish for

I've always said be careful what you wish for. Because you just might get it. And it may be something you didn't want after all.

Ive been here before

Ive been here before. My life turned upside down. But this time is different. I know what to do and can do it well. Been there done that should be the phrase I should be using.

Everything I do is wrong

Everything I do is wrong. When I wake up I'm screamed at for doing something wrong. And when I go to sleep its the same. I'm slowly retreating. Backed up into a corner and don't know what to do. I can't say or do anything because its always wrong.

Its hard loving somebody that hates you.

Trying to hard or to little

Am I trying to hard or to little. Don't know these days. Maybe I should just give up. Or maybe I shouldn't.

These days have been hard for me. I feel alone in my struggles. Sometimes I just want want somebody to understand and care.

My words are always misconstrued. Everytime I say something its always misinterpreted as something else. Sometimes I don't talk so I won't say something wrong. But that doest work because then I am told I'm ignoring people.

But my days do have a bright spot. My friends at work always joke with me. They never tell me I'm wrong all time or scream at me. Sometimes the cashiers talked to me to see how my day is going. Its the little things that keep me going. My children are another bright spot. They always compliment me and appreciate everything I do for them.

Work is hard these days. One hundred degree heat wears a person down. Sometimes I just want a beer and play videogames. But sadly I'm so exhausted I just pass out.

I'm human an imperfect being created by imperfect beings. I can only learn and improve myself. Change doest happen in a day, week, or month. It takes time and time is all I have.