Sometimes I think love is not for me. Right now Im 30 and cant seem to get it right. How long will it take to find it I wonder. Forever at this point. Maybe Im destined to be alone forever. All I know is I envy people that are married. People that have someone to talk to everyday. And people that have a warm body to sleep next to.
Ive met alot of people that are single and are fine with it. Why cant I be one of those people. All I know is being lonely sucks.
You may not want to acknowledge the damage you've done The pain that you've brought to spouse, daughter or son. But if you've done wrong you must see the light To take a pro-active step to returning things right
There will remain feelings that you can't erase Lost time and memories that you can't replace Because of your actions now nothings the same Take a look in your mirror and know that there's blame.
Maybe those words are one's you won't do. They may not exist in your new age point of view. Or, don't want to hear the anger, it might make you blue It's easier to leave your loved ones hurt and askew.
Just saying I'm sorry is not all it takes No magical words to make gone the mistakes Begin the road back with those words from your heart They do not mark the end but maybe a start.
Your family's your bond like no other glue. A great family we had, can we renew? Deep in your heart you know what to do. If I can say "I'm sorry" then I think you can too.
Today my ex girlfriend texted me saying she was sorry and that she wanted to make up. I wasnt going to listen. I was just sick of it all.
She made my life a living hell. I tried everything I could to be the perfect boyfriend but it was never enough.
From the time that I woke up to the time I went to bed I tried to make her happy. I would always make her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I would wash and fold all of the laundry. Clean all of the dishes. I was the one that made the budget and would pay all of the bills. I bought and put away all of the groceries. And when a problem came up that she couldnt handle. I would fix it and make it all better.
And what would I get back? Nothing, no love or affection. She would give me a good fight or argument about what I was doing wrong. If I was sick she wouldnt take care of me. When I was sick she would go out of her way to make me feel worse. That broke my heart.
I treated her like a queen and she treated me like dog shit. Then one day I couldnt take it anymore and I left. My family came over and moved me out. That day I felt defeated.
Now Im much better, stronger, and smarter from the experience. Everyday I feel better about myself. Im happy now and I dont want to be sad anymore.
Heres a song by Seether. It reminds me that its going to get better.
Seether-Fine Again
It seems like every day’s the same and I’m left to discover on my own It seems like everything is gray and there’s no color to behold They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here
And I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine one day Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now, seems everyone’s gonna be fine One day too late, just as well
I feel the dream in me expire and there’s no one left to blame it on I hear you label me a liar ‘cause I can’t seem to get this through You say it’s over, I can sigh again, yeah Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here
And I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine one day Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now, seems everyone’s gonna be fine One day too late; just as well
And I’m not scared now. I must assure you, you’re never gonna get away And I’m not scared now. And I’m not scared now. No…
I am aware now of how everything’s gonna be fine one day Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now seems everyone’s gonna be fine One day too late, just as well I am prepared now, seems everything’s gonna be fine for me For me; for myself. For me, for me, for myself For me, for me, for myself
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Being alone has taught me more about myself. Ive learned about my strengths and weaknesses. Ive had time to reflect about where Ive been and where Im going.
But still I miss having someone to talk to everyday. Someone to hold and someone to spoil.
Right now Im fully focused and nothing is stopping me from reaching that goal.
Well its time for school again. I love it and hate at the same time. Its always fun at the start but then it gets monotonous. Every night seems to drag on like the one before last. Whats even worse is the hours have lengthened. Now Im going to go from 6-11pm monday through thursday.
And since Im single its probably going to be unbearable. Oh well Ill just suck it up and do it.
Here are some funny pics I ran across. I typed in crazy in the search engine and this is what I got.
Quote of the Day
Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.
Im in a different place in my life now. A much better place I believe. In this song the artist is not talking about a specific person but an idea to believe in.
Parachute
She Is Love lyrics
I've been beaten down, I've been kicked around, But she takes it all for me. And I lost my faith, in my darkest days, But she makes me want to believe.
They call her love, love, love, love, love. They call her love, love, love, love, love. She is love, and she is all I need.
She's all I need.
Well I had my ways, they were all in vain, But she waited patiently. It was all the same, all my pride and shame, And she put me on my feet.
They call her love, love, love, love, love. They call her love, love, love, love, love. They call her love, love, love, love, love. She is love, and she is all I need.
And when that world slows down, dear. And when those stars burn out, here. Oh she'll be here, yes she'll be here, They call her love, love, love, love, love. They call her love, love, love, love, love. They call her love, love, love, love. love.
She is love, and she is all I need, She is love, and she is all I need, She is love, and she is all I need.
Sometimes I think love is not for me. Right now Im 30 and cant seem to get it right. How long will it take to find it I wonder. Forever at this point. Maybe Im destined to be alone forever. All I know is I envy people that are married. People that have someone to talk to everyday. And people that have a warm body to sleep next to. 
