[50 cent]
She want it I can tell she want it
want me to push up on it
fore she know when I’m all on it
we get the party going liquor flowing this is fire
50 and jeremih number 1 there’s nothing higher
(won’t you go and)
get it get it (I see you baby)
work it work it
(won’t you, just put it down)
get it get it
work it work it
break it break it down…

[Jeremih]
Ok she headed to the dancefloor and she slowly start to poppin it
something like my wrist cause everybody got to watching it
girl you go that secret treasure I’m gon put that lock on it
don’t care what they say I would be stupid to be not on it
heard you go that sticky
lets go and take 9 shots we’ll just call it fifty
and I’m gonna lick it lick it lick it
till her hicky have her Rev running
keep you running til you whimpy
(bang bang bang bang)
Oh you look so sweet
what you work in Paris
look at your physique
girl you are a beauty well I am a beast
they must have been trippin to let me off the leash

[Jeremih Chorus]
I love the way you grind with that booty on me
shorty you a dime why you looking lonely
we’ll buy another round and it’s all on me
as long as I’m around put it down on me
just put it down on me
put it down on me
down down on me
don’t throw it off the mound
show me how its gonna be
girl all I really want is you down on me
put it down on me
courtesy of TopLyrics.info
[50 cent]
Systems thumping party jumping
shorty she’s a perfect 10
she rock her hips than roll her hips
than drop it down like it’s nothing
she shaped just like an hour glass
she see how fast an hour passed
time flies when I’m on that ass
but I won’t put our sh-t on blast
work it like a pro pro pro
sit and watch it go go go
do her thing all on the floor
she bounce it fast and shake it slow
so sexual incredible
she beautiful she edible
I got her I won’t let her go
I ain’t seen nothing better yo
look at how she twurk it
the way she work it
make me wanna hit it hit it
heaven when I’m in it in it
if I do not fit, I’m gonna make it
girl you can take it
don’t stop get it get it

[Chorus]

[Jeremih]
Say you independent
get it from your momma
tell me if you with it
do you really wanna wanna
baby when you see me
you know I be on it
can you keep it up
put it all up on me
(repeated)
[Chorus]

So lonely....

Sometimes I feel really lonely. Everyday I wake up alone. I make breakfast for myself then go to work. Spend lunch working out by myself. Then go to school till 10. After that I come home, take a bath, and spend the rest of my time on the computer reading until I fall asleep in front of it.

At then end of the week I like to get a beer with a friend of mine and have some actual social interaction with somebody. Its not much but its all I got.

It feels like prison at home with no one to talk to or do anything with. If my girlfriend visits me its great. But thats few and far between. Usually its just me alone with only four walls to keep me company.

A learning experience

When Im sick I realize people better I guess. I learn who is caring and who isnt. Who wants to make sure Im better and who doesnt care if Im ok.

People seem to come out of the woodwork as well. I had people show interest in my well being that I never new cared. I also saw how other people I thought should care, didnt.

Somebody even told me they have a crush on me.

An interesting experience for sure.

What do I want

You know I never bother to ask myself what I want out of relationships or life in general. Day by day I worry what everyone else wants. Everybody from my children, my mom, relatives, ex wife, girlfriend, friends and coworkers.

Nobody ever seems to think about me and what I want. I dont think about me either.

 

love

Someone asked me what is love
is it good, is it bad
is it awesome, is it terrible
I honestly didn't know how to answer them.
I finally decided love is the most complicated of all emotions
Love is kind
love is harsh
love is wonderful
love is terrible
love is a cure
love is a sickness
love is LOVE
love is hate
love is meaningful
love is pointless
love shows the best in people
love shows the worse in people
love makes us speak truth
love makes us lie
love understands everything
love confuses everyone
love builds your life
love tears your heart down
love makes you smile
love makes you cry
love makes us cuddle
love makes us hit
love makes the world go round
love makes the world go crashing down
love makes things simple
love makes things impossible
love is always worth it
love is never worth it
love makes us smarter
love makes us stupid
love is enlightening!
love is BLIND
make love not war
make war out of love
love encourages
love scares
love is peaceful
love creates fights
love is soothing
love is tough

...and above all
Love is always worth it
because you become a better person
  every timeyou love someone
from the simplest caring for a friend
to the deepest desire to love someone til the world ends
from the unconditional love of a child
to the complicated love of the gods
there is...no meaning to love
love means...everything

No matter how much it hurts you, or makes you cry
tries your spirt, and splits your soul.
Love is always worth it...because what doesn't kill you
makes you stronger
And however long it takes
you will be, a better person because you lived, though love.
  Weren't afraid to make mistakes, choices and try again.
And...above all, loved someone no matter what people thought.
You would die for that person...but you would also live for them.
That...is the true meaning of love...

Love

Love Is;

Love is when you care more about someone else's happiness than your own,
You would do anything for them,
You'd rather be with them than anyone else in the world,
You would die so they could live,
When you lose them it feels like you lose yourself,
Theyre the only thing you can ever think of,
You never even dream of being with anyone else, because theyre everything you want,
They have many faults, but your blind to them,
You would take them back no matter what they do,
When you with them it's the happiest time of your life,
but when you without them it feels like there is this great big hole in you
You always want to be in their arms,
Everything reminds you of them,
You miss them the second they leave,
you're always worried about them
there is something in you just burning so deeply
you cannot even begin to describe it
you want to be the one they turn to
you want to be the one they trust
they can hurt you so much
but you choose to pretend they don't
just in case it would hurt them or your relationship
no matter what, they mean the world to you
and you always want to protect them
you wish you could take their pain from them
even if it means feeling it yourself
they do not have to return your love for you to feel this way
They make your life complete
and you cannot imagine them not being in it

I keep learning more

Im going to keep doing what Im supposed to do and not let any one or anything get in my way.

While everybody screws up and betrays me I will continue working on myself.

When somebody screws up they usually try to fix it. But people in my life decide to make even worse decisions towards me.

I never forget.....

30 Seconds to Mars- 100 suns

Within the human heart, we all feel the call to be simple, to be present, to be real. Yet throughout the day, the world urges us to be at war with ourselves and each other: Be resentful about the past. Be anxious about the future. Be hungry for what you dont see. Be dissatisfied with you do see. Be guilty. Be important. Be bored. Be right.

For example, the people who are in our lives today, are in our lives today. What can be simpler than this? Yet so often we react to those we encounter with a mind churning in conflict? We dont want them here. We can think of other people we would rather have here. Were not even sure we want to be here. When will this be over? Why does this always happen to us. And so on and on.

When we become proccupied with what we want or dont want from someone, or what we do or dont approve of. We fail to see that persons goodness, malice, gentleness, sadness, or anything else that is present.

Little children have very few if any unnecessary thoughts, and thats why they are usually focused, present, and happy.

Our live are filled with useless battles because our minds are filled with useless thoughts. We carry unhappy scenes from the past as if they were still happening. This glut of thoughts profoundly affects the world we perceive and the life we live.

Yes, I Have A Penis

Do not assume (if I hold the door for you),
that I am making a statement
about your inabilities
to open the door for yourself.
If you hold it for me,
I'll say 'thankyou'.

Do not assume (if I pay for the meal),
that I am underestimating
your earning capacity
as a woman.
If you invite me out for a meal,
you're paying.

Do not assume (if I defend your rights),
that I am belittling
the attempts that you have made
to defend your rights yourself.
If you defend my rights,
I'll consider you human.

Wheres my companion cube........

Aaron Lewis - Something Like Me

Shards of broken pieces
shattered on the floor
its not enough to bleed

tears and angry voices
cracks around the door
no apologies

and every time you say you love me
I just have to stop and catch my breath
how could somebody love something like me
if you could only say your sorry
there is nothing in this world I can't forget
waiting here for you to set me free

toys and colored pencils
scattered on the floor
underneath my feet

you're always crying over nothing
you're always wanting more
you never go to sleep

but every time you say you love me
I just have to stop and catch my breath
how could somebody love something like me
and every time I feel im falling
she'll be there to save me from myself
little angel watching over me

the taxi's in the driveway
my bags are at the door
and it still kills me to leave

but every time you say you love me
I just have to stop and catch my breath
how could somebody love something like me
and every time I feel im falling
your the one's that saved me from myself
you give me something to believe

and with you here
these cracks and tears
they fade away

Just when you thought

Just when you thought your alone, somebody is just as alone as you. And your worlds collide. As I write these words I feel good. I feel "thought of". I feel not as alone as before. I feel better. I feel so close yet so far away.

Everything in my life seems to be getting better. Not better.....greater.

Im just along for the ride.......lets see where it goes.

Lost but at the same time determined

I know what I want out of life. But getting there is taking forever. My school, love life, and my kids have an ultimate goal. Its just taking forever. I want to graduate already. I want to be married and settled. And I want the best for my kids.

Im envious of my sibling who have all of this. They all have there careers. Are married and have everything in there life in order.

I havent accomplished these things yet and they look at me like Im a loser. They dont look at what Im doing now. Just at all of the mistakes Ive made in my life.

Im focusing on myself and my kids and nobody else. They are all I need now. They keep me going. They look up to me. They think Im the greatest. And I try to be.

Into the unknown

Im moving into a new place this weekend and the idea is kinda freaking me out. You see Ive never lived alone. Ive always lived with roomates, girlfriends, family members, or my exwife.

Whats freaking me out is that I wont have anyone to talk to. I will be there alone all week. Saturday through monday I will have my kids. Other than that it will be just me...by myself. Having nobody sucks at this point.

Up until this point Ive been living with my parents for a couple of months. This wasnt my choice of course. I left in the middle of the night when I left my exgirlfriend. I had no other option at that point.

Only time will tell what will happen.

Three days Grace - Last to know.

Single again

You can put alot of effort into something and still have it fail. Thats life I guess. I keep telling myself to focus on my goals and me. Im putting more effort into myself lately. Working out, eating right, and continuing school.

Life is hard. Bad things happen for a reason I guess. Ive got to keep moving forward. Im almost done with school. Its been tough this semester. It seems like everybody is trying to hold me down. Most of my family doesnt help or support me.

My kids help make it bearable. They love me unconditionally. Thats what love is all about. Sometimes a smile from one of them is enough to keep me going.

Its hard loving somebody that doesnt love themself. Nothing I do works. Apparently Im always doing something wrong.

Why?

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
  - Bertrand Russell

I live my life in conflict right now. Light and dark. I dont know what to do.

Daniel Merriweather- Red

Tron

One of my all time favorite movies is getting the sequel treatment. The original Tron movie is a little old and dated by todays standards. But every geek has a special place in their heart for it, especially mine.

The Soft Pack

The Soft Pack- Down on Lovin

I see the sun in the sky looks so good

But my mind’s getting dark like a young man’s would

I see the birds flying see them soar through the air

But all I got this feeling that my heart of despair
Cause I’m down on loving, down on loving

But I’m down on loving, down on loving

Oh I’m down on loving, and I see that loving all around
I hear the breeze in the air, shake their lies

And the blood is running through my veins as cold as ice

I see the couples passing walking hand in hand

I want to be alone cause I can’t understand
Why I’m down on loving, down on loving

Yeah I’m down on loving, down on loving

Oh I’m down on loving, and I see that loving all around
I’m down, down, down, down on loving
I see the sun on the water and it looks so fine

But I’m locking doors and I’m losing my mind

I don’t want to feel, No, I don’t want to listen

And I can’t stand awash, don’t care what I’m missing
And I’m down on loving, down on loving

Yeah I’m down on loving, down on loving

I’m down on loving, and I see that loving all around
I’m down, down, down, down on loving

I’m down on loving

I’m down on loving

I’m down on loving

Inspiration

New Laptop

I just bought a new laptop. Ive been shopping for a while and settled on this beast.

◦Intel® Core™2 Duo mobile processor P8700
Features 2 processing cores, 1066MHz system bus, 3MB L2 cache and 2.53GHz processor speed per core.
◦6GB DDR2 memory
◦Multiformat DVD±RW/CD-RW drive with double-layer support
◦17.3" LED-backlit LCD high-definition plus widescreen display
With 1600 x 900 resolution.
◦500GB Serial ATA hard drive (5400 rpm)
◦Built-in facial recognition.
◦NVIDIA GeForce GTX 260M graphics Features 1GB GDDR3.
*HDMI output for connecting to an HDTV. 2 built-in speakers with DSP and Dolby Home Theater support.
◦Built-in 1.3MP webcam
◦8-in-1 media reader
Supports MultiMediaCard, Secure Digital, xD-Picture Card, Smart Media, Memory Stick, Memory Stick PRO and Memory Stick Duo formats.
◦IEEE 1394 (FireWire) interface and 4 high-speed USB 2.0 ports
◦Built-in wireless LAN (802.11b/g/n)
◦Built-in 10/100/1000 Mbps fast Ethernet LAN
◦Weighs 8.8 lbs. and measures 2" thin
◦Fair battery life
Of up to 1 hour and 23 minutes (most accurate statement on battery life yet)
◦Microsoft Windows 7 Home Premium Edition 64-bit operating system preinstalled


Its called the G72GX by Asus. Its an extremely powerful gaming laptop. The reason that I call it a beast is because its huge. Its got a 17 inch screen. It was time for a new computer. The other laptop I used wasnt available anymore. I borrowed one for a while but had to return it eventually. I got a great deal on this. It cost about $999 with tax. Not a bad deal for this kind of computing power. Its so shiny and new. I love it.

Beautiful Day

Today was a beautiful day. Even though I went to work I enjoyed the day. Its the start of the rest of my life. Yesterday my bi-polar ex dumped me. I wasnt sad. I was actually happy. The hardest thing in the world is being with someone who just wants to fight all the time.

What did I do your probably asking yourself. Nothing, thats weird thing about being with somebody that has a mental illness. Nothing makes sense. She did the same thing before. After an argument she decided to call my mom and tell her that she didnt want me there anymore. SO I left in the middle of the night, my stuff in trashbags. Skip forward to three months. She calls me begging for me to be back in her life. I relented and got back with her. What a mistake.

But like I said before Im happy. Nobody is screaming at me. Nobody is throwing things at me. And finally nobody is treating me like Im worthless.

Life is great!!!

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